Losing One’s Faith | Stories of Life

Has it ever happened to you to question your faith? Do you sometimes ask yourself if most of the religious dogma is nothing but man made?

I was born into a Christian family in Iran. My father and mother were fervent believers; and my siblings and I were brought up according to the Christian principals and faith. I believed in everything I was taught until the age of sixteen. At sixteen, suddenly, I lost my faith. Everything the pastor preached at church appeared to me as stories from a fairy tale. And, when I sat next to  my mother in church, I looked around me at the congregation with pity and murmured within, “You innocent bunch! How can you believe in all this nonsense?”

One day, I decided to talk with my eldest brother about my loss of faith in God and religion. He told me, “You know what? The more you question such matters, the less you believe.”

He added that there are no straight answers to our questions and doubts in religion. The best thing, he said, is to leave things alone. Then, he said, one will slowly begin to develop a kind of a faith which will appear logical to us.

It took me a good four-five years to begin to understand religion in my special fashion. By the age of twenty I had already developed a kind of a faith that was ingrown. I began believing in Jesus and his spiritual power based on my own acquired belief that originates from within myself. I also believe in a powerful creative force that people call ‘God.’ Today, I am convinced  that everything is possible through His great might. I also believe in miracles brought about by the power of one’s mind. This is what I try to show in “Apple Tree Blossoms in the Fall,” or in my new novel, “Looking for Georges Bizet on Plant Heaven.”

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